TOP CHEF: Goodbye Andrew…. You Crazy Bitch!

WTF was that?! Last night on Top Chef, Andrew got his ass kicked off for insisting (INSISTING, I tell you!!) that Chicago Cops must trade in their regular fare for …… SUSHI?! What made it worse was how he argued with the judges that he didn’t have to follow the rules and make the damn thing hearty!!

But, perhaps more disturbing in this whole ordeal is how he started off the show saying he’ll either cook amazingly that day or “kill someone”!! Unfortunately, he didn’t do the former — and let’s pray he doesn’t do the latter!!

Meanwhile, in Whiny (but less murderous) Town……

Learn to Cook Online!!

Regina Shrambling of the Los Angeles Times came out with a rather in depth article which covered online options for those with (or without) Michelin aspirations.

As more and more would-be cooks post videos of their culinary forays, these online schools are becoming more of a viable option to learning how to braise that chicken:

“While the Food Network is struggling to find its way, and “Top Chef” is focusing on stunts over substance, the Internet might finally be the medium aspiring Gordon Ramsays have been waiting for.”

She even names names…. (of sites that is), such as:

• iFoods.tv (http://www.ifoods.tv)
• Majunula’s Kitchen (http://www.manjulaskitchen.com)
• Food Wishes Video Recipes (http://foodwishes.blogspot.com)

I personally view online cooking videos all the time, probably more than I should. The one thing I love about it is that it’s “on demand”. I don’t have to wait like 3 weeks for Food Network to come out with a show demonstrating how to make a butternut squash lasagna. Nowadays, I just surf on over to YouTube and type butternut squash lasagna and voila! This is simply PERFECT for my A.D.D.!

Get Ready for Top Chef’s Finale…… IN PUERTO RICO!!!

The folks over at Eater.com have gotten a hold of a press release giving details on the final episode of this season’s Top Chef: Chicago. Check it out here:

Wednesday, JUNE 4 AT 10PM ET/PT (EPISODE 413) (NEW EPISODE) The four remaining chefs travel to Puerto Rico to compete in the finale and for the final three spots. Local chef Wilo Benet, known for making gourmet Puerto Rican cuisine, guest judges.

TOP CHEF – “Finale Part II”

Wednesday, JUNE 11 AT 10PM ET/PT (EPISODE 414) (SEASON FINALE) And then there were three. The final three battle it out to cook the best meal of their lives and earn the prestigious title of Bravo’s “Top Chef” in the final episode of “Top Chef: Chicago.”

It looks like they won’t be doing a “Live” reveal like they did last year. In fact, the same site, Eater.com, hinted that they may have already filmed the finale last weekend!

Oh! God! All! Mighty! Please let there have been a showdown between Richard and Dale!!!

What do you know? Not all Vegetarians are Whiney, Bitchy Know-It-Alls

I’ll be perfectly honest with you: I don’t have a good impression of vegetarians.

Incorrect or otherwise, I have this view that herbivores tend to be moody, socially inept, judgmental hacks who are on some chlorophyll induced mission to frown upon omnivores like myself. And, whenever I encounter someone who would fulfill my stereotypes, I would quietly say to myself “Bitch is just hungry.”

Mmmmmm. Made of 100% Vegetarians!!

Fortunately, I came across an article on Slate.com by vegetarian Taylor Clark that helped debunk some of my misconceptions.

In his article, entitled Meatless Like Me he covers pretty much what I think about “V People”. Some of the points he brought up helped enlighten some of my views, others just confirmed it. Now, if you have the same feelings, I suggest you check out the article, too.

Who knew they can be so…. normal?

Chef Ramsay: “Outlaw Out of Season Veggies!”

According to a report, perennial media whore, Chef Gordon Ramsay, said last week that he wants Britain to punish restaurateurs that serve anachronistic vegetables:

“I don’t want to see asparagus in the middle of December. I don’t want to see strawberries from Kenya in the middle of March. I want to see it home-grown… Fruit and veg should be seasonal. Chefs should be fined if they don’t have ingredients in season on their menu.”

The Hell’s Kitchen Chef (as usual) has more to say:

“There should be stringent laws, licensing laws, to make sure produce is only used in season and season only.”

If I’m not mistaken, Chef Ramsay’s reality show is filmed during the winter/early spring. You better believe me when I say I’ll be watching the veggies on those plates from now on!

The Best Tasting Cakes Often Look Like Sh*t

Exhibit A??

Last Saturday in the City of Brotherly Love (not that kind of love), some Philadelphian’s got together for a Battlestar Galactica party…. don’t ask. As the festivities progressed, the evening came to a climactic crescendo with they introduced the pastry you see above.

Now, before you even utter your “WTF?” comment, let the creator explain him/herself:

This cake was created for a Battlestar Galactica party held at Independents Hall in Philadelphia. Chocolate devil’s food cake with raspberry jam and ganache filling, iced with chocolate buttercream and ganache, decorated with chocolate ships and explosions, silver dragees, silver and gold space dust. 100% edible!

{cue: golf claps}

My experience has always been that the prettier the cake the crappier it tastes. Following that logic, this cake must be fucking sublime.

I know its supposed to look like an intergalactic war. But, for some reason, it looks more like something Jabba the Hut just flushed.

TOP CHEF: These Are A Few Of My Favorite Three

It seems like the contestants on Top Chef have been dropping faster than the crumbs on Dale’s messy bruschetta….. thank MADONNA! Time to trim the FAT, I say!!

As a result, I’m starting to get an idea as to which Cheftestant has more skillz than the others. So, here are my favoritest top three. Unfortunately, Antonia and her F.M.B.’s (”fuck-me-boots’) isn’t one of them. But, doesn’t her pulled pork canapé look delish?! Onwards, shall we?

Coolio’s Caprese Salad “Looks Betta Than Yo Momma’s Titties”

Earlier I was thinking to myself, “Self, I need a cooking show that would appeal more to my ghetto-like sensibilities.” And, then POOF! A knife-weilding “gangster” appeared before me, not to cut me up, but to prepare a Caprese Salad. Yay? More info after the jump.

A Salad at a Filipino Party?! Yes, it can happen!!

My FAABulous Panzanella Salad!!

Over the weekend, I was invited my boyfriend’s family party, which meant a couple of things: (1) lots of Filipino food, and (2) more Filipino food. More specifically, few (if any) fresh vegetables.

The lack of greens in the Filipino cuisine is great if you like comfort food and even better if you’re a cardiologist looking for extra business.

Break of Dawn: The Best Mom & Pop Brunch…. EVAH!!

The MAHHH-velous Meatloaf
by Chef Dee Nguyen

Yesterday (Sunday) I visited one of my favorite haunts of all time, Break of Dawn, which is located here deep, deep, deep in Orange County, California.

For those of you that do not live near the vicinity, I’m not showing these pictures to torture you, rather to show you what a small, mom-n-pop restaurant should be like….. at minimum.